youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
