My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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