I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
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I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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