Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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