You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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