so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
