is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
