Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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