i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Couch. On fire.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
