i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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