I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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