You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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