i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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