Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
