Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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