I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
