I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize