i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize