She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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