she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
