Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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