took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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