i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
