Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize