Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
