If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
