Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
