Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
