He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
