hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
