i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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