my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
