All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
