I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize