I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
