im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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