3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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