I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
