the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
