i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
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