its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
and she was petting her beer can
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
