the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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