I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize