Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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