Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
