If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
