chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
