i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
