worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
