Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
