i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my shit smells like andre
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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