what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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