Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
