But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
