If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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