me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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