we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
