he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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