tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
