Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
