come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
