I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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