remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
