i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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