doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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