The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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