Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
