he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
