There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
