see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize