Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
