Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
