we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
