She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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