therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize