Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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